No one needs to read another review on Benefit, ‘They’re Real!’ mascara. Everyone bangs on about how great it is, how blacker-than-black, how lengthening, how thickening, how wonderfully it holds a curl, how it will endure through apocalyptic scenarios whilst retaining every iota of its fluttery beauty.
So I’m not going to review it. I’m just going to come out and say that I never thought it would be worth the hype, and I thought that £18.50 was a stupid price to pay for a mascara when L’Oreal Telescopic existed, and I was generally dubious. I only bought the miniature size because I was charmed by the idea of a miniature mascara to keep in my handbag. I’m currently engaged in a project to construct the perfect capsule makeup bag for my handbag, so those days when I bundle myself out of the house to face the day slap free will cease to fill me with dread. Anyway, more on that to follow.
So I bought the mascara, and I put it on, and at that moment I knew that I had no plans to try any other mascara, again, ever, thank you and goodnight. My eyelashes honestly looked like subtle fakes. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the notion of a product with a name that actually feels appropriate. I’m starting to doubt everything I ever believed about capitalism. Maybe it isn’t all a lie.
Anyway, it made my lashes look beautiful, but the best part was really that it honestly lasts all day without flaking, smudging or any of that nonsense. My lashes look as good the moment before I attack them with my balm cleanser as they did when they were newly preened first thing in the morning. Hell, even my boyfriend noticed how good they looked. If that’s not evidence of a genuinely perceivable difference then I honestly don’t know what is.
It costs £18.50 for a tube, which remains annoying and stupid. This is why I am grateful for the existence of ASOS and its occasional 20% student discount, which pops it in shy of £15. Of course, you don’t have to believe me. The brilliant thing is that you can get yourself to Boots and buy the mini size for a paltry £9.50 (they’re usually by the tills) and see for yourself without having to pay the full price. Rejoice and be merry, my friends. I never have to give a shit about trying to find a good mascara again. My journeys in the lands of mascara testing have ended, and I have come home. It feels good.
FYI, look fantastic are currently flogging this for a mere 16.82 of your English pounds with two free Benefit samples, so I would haul arse over there soon as. Toodles.